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Emails to People Who Can't Sell

ATTENTION SCAM VICTIMS! It has come to my attention that the scam artist Sharon Pears, aka Eva Hobbs, aka Marina Erbe has discovered this website and is now using my name in a sad attempt to discredit me. Don’t worry. I am not trying to steal your money, only entertain you. Below you can read the full and true tail of mockery that has so angered the person attempting to scam you. Enjoy.

I placed an ad, a real ad, for my real home, to replace my real roommates. Most of the responses were serious. Some were not. This is one of the latter.

From: Sharon Pears
Sent: 05/16/11 3:47AM
To: J Russell Mikkelsen

Good day,

I will like to know if the room is still available for rent.

Thanks and hope to read from you soon.

Sharon…

House O' Crazies

Read part 1 then part 2 first. Yup, 1 and 2 are both before 3.

The Illusionist steps around the table to face us. Arnold slinks behind Tom and me. I turn my face to Tom. I address him audibly, “You know, we’re trained in how to deal with this.” Tom nods. We position ourselves on either side of The Illusionist. Tom is waiting for my signal. The Illusionist’s parents are looking on from the doorway. I wait. Tom is ready. The parents are watching.

The Illusionist tells us that he doesn’t hurt people, only objects because objects have no value but people do. Silence responds. The Illusionist sits, trying to impress us with his poise.

Arnold, courage returned, sits down at the head of the table, facing The Illusionist. They begin a long conversation about philosophy and probably farts. The dad soon joins them and takes command. Seeing that The Illusionist is still and their conversation is gibberish, Tom and I leave to discuss the situation with the nurse.

In the office, I give a full summary to the nurse. She admits that she has no idea what to do. I tell her that, for the time being, things seem to be okay. We can put one person on guard at the door and direct any other patients away. This leaves us with two co-workers to handle the rest of the wing, but it’s getting late and most patients have gone to bed. It’s the best we can ask for right now. The nurse agrees. Tom volunteers to stand guard.